Saturday, March 31, 2012

Buy Nickify the Magazine Now!!!!


Get 72 issues for the price of 71!
That's 1.4% off the cover price!

Since 1982, Luke Sams' Nick-ify Magazine by Luke Sams' Nick-ify has been the gold standard in print-based Nick-ifed logo web-based publications. And now, you can enjoy the internet's greatest Nick-ified logo magazine!

What the heck are you waiting for?

Print's not dead! Unlike the trees it's made from, it's very much alive! And to show you just how lively and viable this amazing medium is, we're going to give you

72 issues for the price of 68!
That's 5.6% off the cover price!

I mean, seriously, how the hell are you not falling out of your chair and scrambling to get your credit card right now? This deal is mad! It's insane! We're nuts! What the hell has come over us?
The gloriously amazing content of this magazine, that's what!

This right here sells itself!


We really want you to have this! It's for your own good, not ours! We're not desperate to keep our ad revenue dependent model of business in place, honestly!
We want you to have the best content from the internet, pulled and edited and laid out and printed and folded over and stapled and put into the mail and delivered by car each and every week! It's the fastest way to get your content! And to help you, we'll give you

72 issues for the price of 47!
That's 35% off the cover price!

We're not fooling around! We WILL cut you!


Look, you're being a jerk. You know that print is in trouble and that you hold the key to saving us. But you won't. That's just unfair. Quite frankly, we are so desperate that we are willing to go as far as giving you

72 issues for the price of -72!
That's 200% off the cover price!

WE ARE PAYING YOU TO TAKE IT! 

Do the right thing. Help us. Please. I am begging you. I have a wife and a family. We are so hungry. Drew can't pay my salary unless you buy this damn thing. Please. Just....
Please.

























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APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

No More Moose and Zee

now who these creatures are?




Moose and Zee.

And Moose does NOT like candy corn.

But that’s not the point of this post.

No, the point is that Nick Jr got RID of Moose and Zee on March 1, 2012.

I’m a person who likes change sometimes. For starters, I watched how the channel was suddenly called Nick Jr when for years it was called Noggin. I still call it Noggin sometimes.

Then..

Well, remember this guy?




Face.

He came BEFORE Moose and Zee on Noggin. Excuse me, Nick Jr. No wait, Noggin. It was Noggin when Face was on. Or was it? (DO YOU SEE HOW CONFUSING THIS ALL IS?)

I guess Nick Jr wants to revamp its image which is why they got rid of Moose and Zee. Or something. I picture a bunch of bigwigs sitting around the table and one is like, “Let’s get rid of the moose and bird. What purpose do they serve?” And then the other bigwigs, who lost their imaginations at the age of 3, start stroking their chins thoughtfully while going, “Hmmmm…great idea..”

Here’s my comment to the bigwigs: stop trying to compete with the Disney Channel. Be different. That’s what sets you apart. Get rid of annoying Dora, who by now should be old enough to figure out her own way, and bring Moose and Zee back.

Come on. Do the right thing.

If something HAS to be rid of, how about we say goodbye to creepy Yo Gabba Gabba?

Of course then my daughter would be like, "Ahhh, Brobee! I love him so much!"

I know odds are that we'll never see Moose and Zee again. But maybe, just maybe, a bigwig will have a heart.

Or have a tiny child who keeps whining, "Daddy, bring Moose and Zee back! DADD-DDEEEEEE!"

Never underestimate the power of a whining kid.